Joy comes in the morning!

Onto the next post and an experience I want my family to remember. I ended Thanksgiving weekend with another terrible nightmare which evidently I carried into the next near sleepless night.  The nightmare stemmed from the painful season I'm in and the enemy decided to not let me rest.  It was shear torment! Much of the second night I spent praying and a breakthrough came when the Lord said "Psalm 30" out of the blue.  I knew it was my answer and I am telling you, it was like the words of the page were fresh like I've had never seen them before and they answered every prayer and question I had been wrestling with that night.  I write this today as a record for the future. Here is Psalm 30:

¹ I will exalt you, LORD, 

   for you lifted me out of the depths 

   and did not let my enemies gloat over me. 

² LORD my God, I called to you for help, 

   and you healed me. 

³ You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead; 

   you spared me from going down to the pit.

 ⁴ Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people; 

   praise his holy name. 

⁵ For his anger lasts only a moment, 

   but his favor lasts a lifetime; 

weeping may stay for the night, 

   but rejoicing comes in the morning.

 ⁶ When I felt secure, I said, 

   “I will never be shaken.” 

⁷ LORD, when you favored me, 

   you made my royal mountain stand firm; 

but when you hid your face, 

   I was dismayed.

 ⁸ To you, LORD, I called; 

   to the Lord I cried for mercy: 

⁹ “What is gained if I am silenced, 

   if I go down to the pit? 

Will the dust praise you? 

   Will it proclaim your faithfulness? 

¹⁰ Hear, LORD, and be merciful to me; 

   LORD, be my help.”

 ¹¹ You turned my wailing into dancing; 

   you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 

¹² that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. 

   LORD my God, I will praise you forever.

To be totally candid - It's really, really hard to give a sacrifice of praise when it involves music now. I don't touch the piano or pursue being a part of any music ministry, let alone sing unless it is in church. Even then, I can't get through it without tears. I know, I know...worship is not just singing.  I've just allowed the worship (that easily flowed from this type of expression from a lifetime of expressing it this way) to be silent.  I needed to hear that the Lord would "remove my sackcloth and clothe me with joy" so I can sing to Him again.  I can't do this and so the Lord will have to help me get there. This past Sunday, I heard a very meaningful choir song to me (during worship) and just totally broke down, making a spectacle out of myself.  I can't "lose my praise" as one wise woman reminded me a couple months back.

One of our pastors made this statement a couple weeks back - "Take hold of what God has for you, stretching out with your all, out of your comfort zone.  Where there is stretching (like the man with the withered hand that was healed), God will not be held back by anything. Barriers are breaking and God will break the limitations of your life. Satan does not want you to know that if you stretch you can have what God has for you.  Time to start walking and talking and stop complaining to get out of the wilderness and inherit all that God has for you.  No weapon formed against you will prosper." And this passage in Isaiah 54:2-3   "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities."

Update

Just a week after my last post, I had great news so I'll start with that but may need to post twice to catch up on a few things.  I walked into the neuro-surgeon's office to hear his first words be "you have absolutely nothing to worry about."  He didn't feel that the venous angioma was a threat.  He did go on to say that my symptoms of pain, that have increased tremendously, is probably due to trouble with my neck's herniated discs.  I'll take that over brain surgery and seizures and all!  I thank the Lord I am okay.  God gave me such a peace during it even though I did have one alone-time crying about the possible implications of this.  I wasn't ready to have my life shortened and I really did walk out of that doctor's office with a new dose of thankfulness for each new day!  

This past week, Lauren did a major project on Benjamin Franklin. Helping her with such things has peeked my interest in history along with having a Pastor that is a history expert.  I was thinking about the history of the hymns and how the rich words many of the words can be because they are birthed out of tragedy or triumph. While I was busy in the kitchen today, I had the hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" run through my head.  Come to find out that the author wrote it after her husband drowned to death.  Here are the words:

Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus

      

(1) 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at his word,

Just to rest upon His promise,

Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

CHORUS:

 Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!

O for grace to trust Him more.

      

(2) How I love to trust in Jesus,

Just to trust His cleansing blood,

Just in simply faith to plunge me

'Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

      

(3) Yes, I've learned to trust in Jesus,

And from sin and self to cease.

Now from Jesus simply taking

Life and rest and joy and peace.

      

(4) I'm so glad I learned to trust Him,

precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;

And I know that He is with me,

He'll be with me to the end.

Now that is trust!! What hits me most is the statement in the last stanza "I'm so glad I learned to trust Him." May that become my song!!